a small good run

Sometimes poker seems so easy when you're running good. I won a 27 player 20+2 tourney on stars and finished 6th in 180 player 20+2 on stars. It's hard for me to pinpoint what I was doing differently. On the 27 player, I was definitely catching cards. On the 180, I was being semi-loose aggressive, I'd like to think. But more than anything, it was about my hands holding up. I remember one hand where I was in for most of my chips. I was in EP with KK and decided to go for a limp reraise since it seemed like a lot of people were coming over the top of me. Well, not this time. We see a flop for the minimum. All undercards - the BB bets out, I reraise all in hoping to catch him with top pair. He had a flush draw and a gut shot. I feel like I lose that all time. It seems like everyone online always goes after a flush draw. This guy was no exception, but my hand held up. I felt more comfortable as the tournaments wore on since I knew I was against better players, players who could lay down a hand and actually respect someone for having a hand. Maybe that's what gets me - that when I'm playing with weaker players, I need to adjust my style more. Continuation bets, yes. Second and third shells? Maybe not.

I think I also need to adjust my thinking. Even if I get my money in good, which of course is the goal, I still get upset when I get drawn out on. It's like my own Phil Hellmuth show at my house whenever I lost a pot I shouldn't have. The irony is I take those beats just like I should when I'm live. When I was in New Orleans, I got it all in with my aces vs this guy's tens before the flop. He hits a ten. I just ship my chips to him. If that happens online, I start cussing and whining about how it always happens to me. I wish PokerTracker had some facility to see how often I lose with an overpair against an underpair vs me sucking out. Hard statistics would be the only way to show me that it doesn't happen to me more often. I swear to god, I lose those all the time.

lack of focus

I ended up playing a lot on Sunday after I wrote that last post. I think my weakness is a lack of focus and an inability to let bad beats go. I need to sit, make good decisions, and have faith in my decisions and not let it get to me when these sons of bitches get lucky on me.

Do I suck or not?

In my first post, I'd like to think aloud about whether or not I'm a good poker player. Since I've been keeping my own spreadsheet of online poker (about 4 years), I'm basically even. Why don't I win? Why don't I lose less? I want to blame luck, but that's not fair. It sure as hell feels like I take more bad beats than I give out, but I guess everyone feels like that.

As I'm playing now in another window, I double a guy up with a board of KJ2, I have KQ and he has KJ. He limped in and I checked from the BB. It's one hand. I bet into him and he raises me, I guess given the stack sizes that I won't bore you with here made my decision correct.

In the end, I know I can play. I need to to tighten up the weak plays I make. I need to fix the leaks in my play. I just wish it was easier.